Myra is ME

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

I get crushed..

Interesting title aint it? Some may wonder,

"when does myra ever get crushed?, that ever-jovial lanky Missy"

Not to worry, this Missy only gets crused when her emotions get stolen, which in fact, does occur pretty rarely. Considering, Missy Myra is a feministic brat. I love the sounds of that.
Back to the stolen emotions. I detest people who nonchalently walk into my life, pull some of my well-welded heartstrings and casually make me vulnerable like a smashed apple crumble, melt me up like a creme brulee and dip nachos into the sweet salsa sauce in me. (that wasn't a sexual innuendo.. bargh..) You see, it takes a bloody lot to make me deliriously dreamy, esctatically excited, fumingly flabbergasted with his demeanours. The pain comes in from his suave movements, his clarity in unwasteful thoughts and his gentle manners... i worry when what i enjoy, pure machismo, works all so fine. With all this exhausting pain and anxiety, I hate to break it to you, dear readers, I am actually masochistic ( not in a sexual sense of the word... at least not for now ;P). Its not just me and hot wax.

Its not in his richess, his lovely words, his constant attention, his looks. Not at all. Its his thoughts of guidance, his shield of care, his opague emotions, his street-wise, his nonchalence!, his objectivity with things around him, his love for the misfortune, his respect for discipline and rules of many worlds,

his eyes...

He stole the emotions I have kept pristine and safe, right in front of me. He has the father figure I relish, I wont call it fatal attraction though cause he is not a superbly gorgeous. His tall, his clean shaven, his well-built and thats great enough, for simple me. Usually gorgeous girls get average looking men. Hahah, that was a plain innocent joke. I am sure he is cute for some girls.

It all happened unintentionally and most of the things fell into place, but I doubt he knows my feelings towards him, Mr X. (Hahah, you think I will tell you who...? Fat chance!) I don't think he will ever know, knowing how we are racially different. Very different lifestyles and different modus operandi. I guess racially issues never fail to fail me. I dont fancy guys of my race and other races probably have issues with Muslims. Yes! Even though we are living in the sunny, well-integrated multi-racial Singapore.

So what happens to Missy Myra at the ennnnnnd of all these cassanovic thoughts, her emotions get crushed, terribly crushed. But a good thing bout my emotions is, it lives life like a phoenix, it will grow new life from its ashes, exactly where it got burnt. Like a mathematically equation, i will validate myself. Logging the good and the bad times we shared, minus the Racial Factor, divide by my misdemeanor of being extra vocal, multiplied by my height (in cm), subtract my blemishes I have cultivated through the weeks and root that with his idea of a submissive Korean bride. After that divide iy by my feministic views. The final quotient should subtract the unluckiness I might have with men. My yearnings of being lascivous just dies when it comes to straight-fully, right guys like Mr X. So that leaves a probability of 0.088?

Well then, my broken heart is yet to be fully cemented with sand, plaster and water. Another right guy might come anyway, like always, before the whole process reinvigorates itself, a perennial cycle. It is however exciting to see him at work and walk pass him intentionally, and not say anything, though you are looking out at the corners of your eyes to see if he trailed your moves. Its exasperating when I select the scent-of-the-day early on weekday mornings, to see its effects on Mr X. Interesting to learn of ways you can bump into him before the turnstile and say a casual 'Elo' and misplace my glance at another guy, like it doesnt mean much. Its hard thinking of what to say to another guy, sitting behind him, just to illustrate my kindness and social nature is not meant for only him. And I do treat him special ;) Somehow I wonder, whats in it for him, if we got together? What can I do as a woman of his life. Hmmm,
lets see.... I can:

  1. Take care of him when his parents are away
  2. Cook dinner after challenging day at work
  3. Be a confidante, although he has a baggage of it himself
  4. Get his Economist when he needs a reading before sleep
  5. Invest in a snooker table, in case his friends come by, I dont do Mahjong.. ;p
  6. Buy a superb Tag Heuer watch which tickle manly fancies, although I know that is not all men fancies... ;)

How bout that? :) Hahahahaha.

On the flip side, I am finding hard to tell this other person I dont wanna hear from him anymore. He has been great and he is not pushy or anything. I just don't want him to waste his feelings, when I clearly know we have no common interests and we lead a way different lifestyle. At least I have quite a lot of things in common with Mr X.

Haiz..... I wish meeting the right person is simple and easy, that the one you yearn, is someone who can bring the best in you, fulfil, at least half, your dreams, take you through life and beyond. Be the one you can bury you face in in his chest went things go absolutly wrong. Best of all, someone who requite your pure emotions for him/ her, based on your true self, whatever it may be. Disregard the race, disregard the social stigma that could linger.

Mister X, if you ever get to read this, I am sorry if I am not the one you are looking for, I wish I am. And of course I can, if you let me....I can be the one girl who would give her best to make you happy( provided you are not a chauvanist)

~ Luv mYra.

Myra Abd Kadir~ at 22:04

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Exxon

I love ExxonMobil because I love working with a good team! Basestock Sales, how I love typing that on the computer everytime I am working. I am all so proud to be part of decision making, part of major discussion, part of something which will affect many industries and people. Solid work and I love every bit of it. I welcome the stress, I invite the pressure, I want more responsibilities, I want more challenge. It is like I am suppose to be part of Basestock. I want to be utilised and value add to what Basestock is. I wanna work with figures just like my mentor, thinking and dwindling at one simple thought and turn it into somethine so exquisite, that it is admired by Tom. I wanna do something for Basestock and I am deliriously happy Basestock made me a family member, anytime. I love the game, I really do.
On the lighter side, I am amazed on how big decision makers turn out to be normal adults, your next door neighbour, someone whom you can have lunch/ tea with and no pressure at all. So relax to be apart of Basestock. I love being in that male-dominated department cause I won't like working with women much. More focus, more thinking, more challenge, more drive and absolutely less small talks.. Yes!

Next time when Mr Turcotte asks me how I like Basestock Sales... I will say I love every part of it, even the stress and the challenges! I wanna work with all the 8 people I love. I love Basestock Sales!

Myra Abd Kadir~ at 20:53

Monday, November 07, 2005

Boy In the Lift

It all began with a twist of fate....

So I was back from ACF internal voting, and sat down in the LRT towards Kangkar Station thinking about my flawless predictions of the new 2nd ACF Exco, all smiley and confident that ACF will be better than before... Thinking nothing in this day would be any wrong...

Walking at 12am in the morning isn't my favourite hobby but years in band thought me well. I brished walked from the LRT station back home, so well that I appeared skipping with delight cause a day went superbly well! And I noticed there was an Indian boy, treading my path, its perfectly normal... when I was that age, I chilled till 3 am. And yes, its probably some neighbour's kid... besides I don know my neighbours well ;) I continued walking home, towards my block towards my lift and surprisingly the dude caught up. I was amazed, hahah, cause no one can actually bothered walking that fast, honestly speaking.. Really, it was a pleasant peaceful night. Oh well, I thought, must be my indian neighbour's son. Nonchalently, I stepped into the lift without pressing my floor button. I knew this was the best thing to do, to test whether this dude is indeed my neighbour's son... He pressed '11' and I was surprised... hmmm, I told myself, I didnt know we had an indian neighbour on 11, well thats great, new neighbour. And if he were a stalker he would get off before me!! If he were a robber I could shout for my 10th floor neighbour, my family friend, the Indian Delivery Man ;)

He looked at me twice as the lift elevated. I didnt look at him but from the corners of my genial eyes, I notice things like that. Below is the conversation we had, bear in mind it takes less than 30 sec to get to the 11 floor and 33 sec to get to my floor 13. In parenthesis are my internal musings.

Dude: Hey whats the time?
(gasping after tryin to catch up with my walking pace from e LRT Station)

mYra: I don have a watch (ahh gotcha, a typical pick-up line!!)

Dude: er er.... ok i don know the time..

mYra:(well its late already, you should know ey?) think its 12:07am
(mYra choking with banalitites)

Dude: U think I can talk with you dowstairs? 5-10 mins? I just wanna know you. I find you quite cute.

mYra: hmmm thats hard...
( What do you mean quite CUTE, Mister, you cant any girls with this pick up line.... Learn more okie)

we already reach the 11 floor.
mYra: This is your stop (myra smiles)

Dude: Er can I just know you? We can go downstairs and talk for 15 mins? I find you quite cute.

mYra: (oh no, I don like this everytime it comes, this dude is as old as my 15 year old bro, Sadiq)
Well why not you leave your number with me and I will call you.
( TIP: guys, when a girl say that, she means,'Slim chance, but when i am free, i can try calling)

Dude: I don have a handphone, see, I am not carrying one. Do you have someone else?

mYra: No ( not carrying hp, wow, savvy guy ey? wahhahah. Its good that he he not carrying one cause that obliterated my suspicions of him being a kidnapper, robber or a gang rapist)

Dude: Then lets try to know one another? How many ex-s you have?

mYra: (what kind of an adolescent qn is that, wahahaha) none ( I lied... so that i will look freakish or even lesbian. This is fun!)

Dude: ok, but lets chat ok ;) lets go downstairs

mYra: (this guy is either lame or just need someone for the night) Hmm, I cant tonight, I am working.

Dude: But I just need 5 mins.

mYra: Well where do you stay?

Dude: Rumbia

mYra: (well if tis dude is telling the truth, he went through alot to get here when he is staying quite far off, I am flattered ;) ) Hmmm, well I am around but I cant do tonight, I am sorry.

i closed the door to Floor 11 and went up to 13.

Dude: But please, I really want to know you.

mYra: ( persistent is good cause its flattering, but give a thought to a sweet Malay girl who wants to be sleeping at home with her family. Its 12 freaking am in the morning and I need to send an email to my exco on the new office bearers!!) Well, I am sorry, next time alright. See you around.

mYra stepped out of the lift and he was still saying things from the lift which I had to ignore so that my family wont have to listen to this rather funny but enlightenting encounter.

Dude: So this is where you stay?

mYra: (Darn, shit, I should have pressed 12 floor!! Now he knows where I stay... oh bother... I must bring Swiss Army knife to work tomorrow) Yea, so good night.

There other things we said but I couldnt recall where in the conversation it was at. But he is 18 yrs old. He was wearing a red sports jersey and knee length pants (in case you guys find me missing, you will know what the suspect looks like, hahaha)

It was all wrong. Guy is too young and immature to make a good liner to entice ladies and I was in my dirtiest state, hair all messed up and I smell like KFC after a long day in school.

But what I can say, for the records is....

I would give an A to the Indian dude for
1) Effort
2) Persistence
3) Courage

Its ok if he failed the rest, at the age of 18 (he might be younger cause I recollected him saying he is in Sec Sch) he has all the time in the world to learn about courtship!!

What Could Have Been.... in useful 33 sec for a Dude in e Lift:

Man: Ma'am, do you have the time? (this actually gives the lady the hint despite bein a pick-up liner)

mYra: I dont have a watch.

Man: Actually, I have been noticing you since my LRT trip home. BTW, I am Ramu, and your name will be?

mYra: Mary Jane (giggles)

Man: Lovely name for you, but I bet your real name is better (smiles)

Man: Do you think we can meet up tom, are you scholling? working perhaps?

mYra: both

Man: excellent, I can take you to this nice humble place in Chinatown for dinner

mYra: i cant, I got a party Mon night ( i am lying)

Man: than lets take it on tuesday, ok with you.

mYra: cant got to peer tutoring (definately lying)

Man: Alright, I bet your thursday night not filled up yet, I will take you to catch a nice musical/ theather/ jamming band opening at the Esplanade, then we can have chocolate supper.

mYra: oops, my floor, catch you soon RAAMUU

Man: Wait up. ( still in the lift and holds the lift doors to speak) I didnt get your name but at least give me a hint you can do Thurs with me. Just casual chill out.

mYra: where and what time.

Man: I will pick you up under your block, thurs, 7: 30.

mYra: Goodnight.

Man: Goodnight sweet Mary Jane.. Lovely time meeting you.

mYra: Pleasure meeting you too.

That will sure get a date out of me, hands DOWN!! Ramu will be Peter Parker to me, whahahahah!!

Myra Abd Kadir~ at 01:39

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