Friday, December 16, 2005
Feelin ALL Stupid, Happy and Numb
Friday and I got no plans....
All I am thinkin at this time, is to fly outside my window, touch the moon and fly back down. On my way down to earth I wanna travel to Quebec and say hi to J.F. and tell him I wish he was here... so we can talk bout faraway places and tellin him how Rosalind calls Gerald 'King Kong' and how Tuck Fatt and me make a great team, getting documentation all nice and done. I am having fun at Exxon, unlike most of the interns..Hahah, good, very good. I can proudly say this is the only perfectly flawless thing that happend to me in 2005.
All I am thinkin is bout how stupid I was feeling to have lost control of emotions and how Johnny was a plesant comforter. I hate having stupid crushes...Bout John, I 've been to the same school, the same class with this guy for 4 years and he knows more bout me than I know bout myself. Yea, Johnny boy, I am moving on and next week you and I will be meeting the people of our dreams.... Riiiiggghhtt... Hehe, Thnks John ;) I am happy when you are, Mister.
All I am thinking is bout how I will be preparing to go back to school. I doubt my GPA will go any higher. And I am disappointed of that very fact. And I absolutely loathe those no-gooders, unappreciative, absolutely insensitive blokes who still whine they cant get a Magna Cum Laude when i cant get a Merit Award, ever! But I do not care ;) I will do fine, with or without an Honors...
All I am thinking is bout how Fuzzie wants me to come for Symphonia practise. Sorry buddy, I do not feel good bout myself whenever I am with the band, I am more appreciated elsewhere, besides, I wanna explore other things which I can really be good at. 8 years at playing the trumpet and I am getting nowhere with it. No interest, I join band just to pass time. Thats no fun, esp now that I know more things are coming my way. But I miss the good times we had during Symphonia. The times we went home with Michael and Alvin. The times we just laughd our way back home, in the dark of the night, thinking bout how we got the notes all wrong and that we will do better in the next session. We would hum the tunes most of the time. Hehehe, that was nice! Don worry, I can learn salsa wit you anytime, Fuzzie.
All I am thinkin bout is the trip to Johor, Lina and I will go on tomorrow. I wanna shop for clothes for school while that chick do her hair. She shields me from lots of things and I know, when I cry, and she finds out, she will ride down to Sengkang to comfort me. She can see thru me even when I am a good liar.
All I am thinking bout is how Claud and I went through crap together. We gave up on the God-Forsaken males which semi-ruin our faith in ourselves. For the records, we are over and done with them, Missy. They broke our spirits, our esteem. But one thing they didnt break is our friendship. Besides, what goes around comes around. Is the matter of time ;)
All I am thinking bout is the jog I will have with Ryan a.k.a Jincheng. This heartbroken soul keeps on living!!! He is a 3.4 even with a scarred heart!! Better than me.... Hehehe, congrats Dude. And I know you will do superbly fine, in the end, you will.
All I am thinking bout is when Zahdan parted with some Malaysian ringgit to call me from the public phone in Seremban, telling me he is visiting his sick grandad. God take care of him.
All I am thinkin is how I love what I have been through... All the love, All the pain, All the joy. All is left are memories I left behind :)
All I am thinking bout is how stupid, happy and Numb I am feeling right now.....
mairah.fotopages.com
Myra Abd Kadir~ at 22:24
