Tuesday, February 28, 2006
it doesnt matter...
I am sortta busy studyin the last chapter of I.B. when suddenly epiphany hits me in the head. I am wondering whether my 0830hr I.O. lesson had to do with it.. Cause
'revelation' or
'epiphany' usually hits when the frequency of the brain waves is between 1-13Hz, ie when the mind is calm. Thats the kind of stuff I learn in I.O. and I am gettin the hang of this
abstract I.O. thing....
What I intended to blog about is the understanding of life and how to go about working life out. This concept has always been there in my mind, on a subconscious level. Something I cant really manifest into words.
Sometimes, what you were in the past doesnt matter. It doesnt matter if you were from a neighbourhood primary school which barely made it, it doesnt matter if you were the top 5% of the PSLE cohort who had a chance to take a 3rd language, it doesnt matter if both your parents were drug addicts their whole lives and a certainly doesnt matter if you are handicapped/ disabled in any way. It doesnt matter if all your friends are applying for jobs in their last semester and you ave not, it doesnt matter if your best friends are way cooler and better than you. These, so called
, setbacks ( barriers/ hindrance) or on the flip side
birthright (advantages) is temporal/ ephemeral. In no way, you should feel
threatened/ demoralised or on the flip side,
priviledged if you are endowed with advantages (e.g. riches, fame, good traits and qualities). Why I say that is because this world is transient, things are unpredictable, even if there is some form of global pattern.
Butterfly effect is what academics term this phenomenon. This is the EDGE of CHAOS.... where all that matters is how each of us learn, adapt and evolve in order to survive. Maybe I should engage you with this exercise to facilitate the understanding of this, so called, life concept.
Have you ever felt clueless of what you should do to ace an interview, when the jobscope is so vague and generic??
Have you ever felt clueless of what you should do to get the dude of your dreams to look your way, and what will be the impact of your actions on him??
Have you ever felt vulnerable in the middle of the night, thinking of inevitable Death??
Have you ever disappointed when you were damn sure you did a good job in this essay but your lecturer screwed you with a C-?? And you wonder what the F&*k was wrong with your paper??
My point is there is no telling (no manual, no appendixes, no curve projection of life, no Bloomberg report of life, no credit spread over Treasury Benchmark Rate of the risks in life, no SOP, no Base Case) to life or the future of life. Whether life followed a pattern, or whether you will achieve a desired outcome even after you think, you have fulfilled all the criteria
they told you to achieve. It makes life more of a 'chance' thing than an order/ pattern. Its how you make the best of the 'chance' you are faced with.
Yes, you may have been a bright girl in primary/ secondary school, but each time you lapse in academia, you get less competitive. The reason you lapse is because you lack competitiveness. Somewhere, somehow, you might have been overcomed by too many distractions in life.
Yes, you may have been permanently disabled due to a bike accident, but if you are able to fight the stigma of being disabled and continue striving for success, aka learn and adapt to your current disabled condition, you might just make it good in life. More than you thought you would, and more than what people expect of you.
These 2 examples highlight one point: What matters is not the current situation in which you are either
blessed/
cursed with. What matters is the rate at which you learn from your surroundings, adapt to the new change and evolve to your desired outcome. That rate in which to strive to perform has to be continuously better. Which means, it has to have a constant marginal rate of performance, so that you do not slacken behind. This is to beat the constant inpredictable nature of life, and subsequently win
the 'race'.
The secret is to constantly keep up. In I.O., we define these individuals as Intelligent Persons, whereby they are constantly mindful and aware of their surroundings. These being are also aware that there is a need to compete in order to survive, hence, these people are very competitive in nature. Till now, there are very very few beings which are described as intelligent, Isaac Newton was one of them.
But as for us, normal people, I just wanna say, don be demoralised if you are
unpriviledge or don be too comfortable if you are
priviledged. What matters is how you deal in that kind of situation in order to achieve the BEST results possible.
I love you Mum and Dad,
I love you Jude, my money plant, which I havent waterd for a week
I love you Lina for encouraging me to stay sane when times are at its worse
I ove you Claud for pointing my good points
I love you Nasri for gatherin the Kental People together, almost every week, cause I love the Clique
I love you Tracy for being my solace in school
I love you John for smsing me in the middle of the night, when things are not right
I love you Jean Francois for flying me in the imaginary world of Travel
I love you Deen and Fuzzy for bein the dudes I turn to when I am bored with Sch ;)
Myra Abd Kadir~ at 15:55
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Whats the HURRY, Mornin' Glory?
Ey ey,
no more talks bout Marriage...
- Its silly when you worry bout nothin...
- Yes, you may be single...
- Yes, you might be marryin later than anyone else you ever know..
- and you will attend all your best friends' wedding without a partner...
- You might also not have a chance to have 3 kids if you marry later than 28 yrs of age...
- You might have to spend your retiring days with a old pet dog in a condominium style retirement village...
- Yes, people must think you have loads of issues that no men/ women can ever tolerate that load of ISSUES... hence you are on always your own
- Yes, people must think you are darn finicky that no men/ women dare to pursue a relationship with you...
- Yes, by that time you will know that your mum will blame it on herself for not raising you like a right-minded girl/ boy who would marry and eventually perpetuate their legacies....
- YEs, you might also blame yourself for refusing the previous girls/ boys who have always loved you but you just couldnt reciprocate because they didnt fit your lifestyle (like as if you had a good, healthy lifestyle to start with...)
- So, that was a form of retribution, which you, yourself, deem fit for a heartless girl/ boy like you....
- Maybe when you saw your ex, whom you dumped 2 yrs back, turn out better than he/ she can ever be, I am sure you would curse yourself for treating her/ him bad...( at least she/he is attached)
- And then, you suddenly turn to yourself and batter everypart of you which makes you less perfect than anyone else, and you began to, unreasonably, compare yourself to Bradd Pitt and/ or Uma Thurman....
- And then you just sit, at the end of the day, blaming life being a sad, sad story....
- Soon after that, you will look through your hp directory to look for singles from your primary/ secondary/ JC/ Poly/ Uni, so you can fill your friday/saturday plans and to your dismay... everyone is ALREADY married off... yes, every single one except YOU
That was what I just read from a magazine bout anxious singles lookin out for love.... It scares me that my friends and my families are scaring me to death, mind you, bout this crazy thing called marriage... Whatever happened to Love, Commitment and Convenience?? What happened to holy matrimony? All I hear now, its about this irritating ticking of the biological/ social/ cultural time BOMB. Nothing in my 16 yrs of education told me to gear up and get on to the next phase of life, MARRIAGE?
I think the MAJOR problem is, old singles are stigmatised and marginalised from the normal marriage community!! Tell me honestly, if you hear this savvy 45 yr old lady, never married and always carrying with her, a blackberry phone to read her emails... what is the FIRST thing on your mind??
DOn lie if you are saying you are not making negative judgement on her.. Cause I know you ARE!! HAHAHA... I know exactly what is on your mind,
"She is too career minded, never really socialise, I pity her cause she wont enjoy coupling, I pity her cause she has all the money in the world, but no honey from a man. Men must be afraid of her....haha, its a relieve I am blessedly married... Hmmm, maybe she has an anomaly; too much testosterones!"
Okla... I was exaggerating, but there is always this lingering bad stigma bout forever singles... SOOOO, if you want to talk marriage with me, I think just save your breath, cause I am gonna be unstigmatised, even if I don marry in the end ;) And I'd rather wait for the seemingly right one, than risking bad marriages.. (though women do get the better end of divorce spectrum)
Toodles guys, don worry... even if love dont come your way, my friendship will always be there for ya ;)
Myra Abd Kadir~ at 18:36
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
I.O.
Fancy Prof Liang picking up my paper with 2 other papers and showing it to the class ;)
In I.O. class, there was a class activity which tested for short term memory. One of the question involved an IQ qn and I, with the other 2 people, got almost the correct answer. Hey Hey....
High IQ??!
I don think I am that smart to begin with, probably I
was very smart, but my parent did not nurture the intelligence in me ;) Hahah, Loser's pride! Prof Liang added that, if you contribute a new discovery at over the age of 40, you maybe a nobel price winner, but, sorry, you can qualify for a prodigy. He added that highly intelligent individuals contribute discoveries at a tender age of below 30. My chance at being an intelligent being is getting slimer....
According to Prof Liang, there can never be an intelligent organization on earth because for that to take place, all humans have to be intelligent being. And when we interact we act as a single biological being. That begs the question:
"So why the hell are we studying this topic, if it will never have any relevance to the real world. This world is indeed not filled with many smart people. It there were many intelligent beings, we wouldnt have the Iraq war, caricature of the Prophet pbuh and the 2 WW"Of course Myra is a cynic, a saddist, a pessimist....
I think, all I need now is to feel better bout the world, all this pain from listening to 9 o'clock news isnt worth it, especially when there is still so much of the world to explore. I have to tell Prof Liang that, I really think there is no point studying about intelligent organization because the world is most probably entering the Edge of Choas. Let me
boast on what Edge of chaos means;
Edge of Chaos is the state of bounded instability, whereby a complex adaptive system (like our human organization) moves into chaos, this is where its computational ability is maximised and the complex system will experience the highest level of fitness and adaptibility. The edge of chaos is more of a space than an edge.
If you still don comprehend, I would gladly refer you to Prof Liang ;) cause I cant illustrate it in anyway...
But something queer bout Prof Liang is the fact that he usually springs out of context, by saying something totally unrelated. Like the part when he said,
" Why not marry the first guy you meet?"- and he was standing right infront of me.You should have seen the contortion of my face. Deen saw it, go ask him. I think Prof heard what I said. If I can vaguely recall, I verbalised something like,
"How the hell?!"But in my heart, I was actually saying,
"Shit, how did he know what I was thinking?"Prof was trying to explain that girls with PHDs during his time found it hard to find a lifetime partner because most guys are not very educated. So he suggested the girls should just grab the first man they see and marry. However I still havent found out how he drifted to that topic. I think I like Prof Liang... Hahaha, marry the first man I see.. Hahaha. Thats scary... really...
Well, I got a strategy case to handout tomorrow, one more qn to go. I got an I.O. proj slide to complete. And now I am dreaming I was back in Exxon, doing real work....
D
A
R
N
I love you Mum and Dad, I love you Arif, Kanchis, Kon1 and Khairun. If it is not for you guys, I don know how to survive life ;)
I love you Lina, I love you Zahdan...
I love you Fuzz, I love you Deen....
I love you Jincheng, my jogging bud....
I love you Johnny, my phantom friend who knows which Indon song I love..
I love you Onie, my money plant living outside the house...
I love you teddy bear..
I love you colours, esp green and gold...
I love you God, for loving me...
Gd nite!
Myra Abd Kadir~ at 01:24
