Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Holy Matrimony
My parents are still talking in their room and it is 40 past midnight... My Daddy gotto work @ 7am tomorrow and they are still talking. Today was indeed an eventful and dramatic day.
I know myself, I have expectations of the dude I will eventually marry. Responsible, intellectual, courageous, polite, hardworking and loving. He should at least be decent looking (pls God)I also know that I am not ready for marriage cause I have ideals which are hard to be met. It would be beautiful to have someone to love and cherish but after what I have witness today, I reaffirm myself that, married life would be as challenging and unpredictable as the changing of weather patterns.
How can a marriage just dissolve into a broth of bitter hatred, after years of marriage? What happened to love and romance? What happen to mutual understanding? What happen to mature adults? What happened to equality and respect for one another? What happen to give and take? What happen to sacrifice? What is wrong with you adults?
Albeit all this, I learnt quite alot. Aunty Lin advised me to find someone responsible and honourable. My other aunts advised me to take my time and that there is no point rushing into something.
Jodoh siapa yang tahu... Sad to say, I always have a cynnical view of men. I try my best to cast the evil eye aside and view them as my equal. Unfortunately, I always have held guys in high regards due to their superior role in the domestic household (of a muslim's) so much so I get disappointed when a dude isnt on par. Sometimes, I get angry at my dad, my uncle and my brothers for being lame, for allowing women to overtake their roles (women take men's role on top of their own) in the family. I get angry when men diss women when they themselves are measly beings compared to the women they diss.
"Its self- inflicted", I always say. The men knew this time will come, where women will overpower them eventually. It was hinted in the Holy Quran. Either you men improve urself or you get bypassed by women. Shariah courts like most courts are in favour of women and you cant diss the government for being biasied. I mean whats the point? You guys just have to be two steps ahead. Go
lead the family, be an examplary being; an intellectual, mature thinker, be a diligent bread-winner, be a motivating dad, be a patient and loving husband and be a respectable, good Muslim. In short, start being a better man.
Only when you become a man, I will become into a woman. I will share your pain as a working man, I will provide the best for you, I will guide our children, I will be understanding to your plight and I will stand by you in everything you do
I have one dream. To lead a happy meaningful life with a family I can call my own. I yearn for a domesticated life, just like my mum's. I want my family to wake up with a full set of morning breakfast, I want to discipline my children in their morale and academic well-being, I want to be there every evening when my husband comes home. But I am badly shakened about what happened today. I do not know if I can learn to trust men to take care of me. All this makes me think twice about these words,
"Holy Matrimony", cause
love just aint enoughI hope things will go well for my uncle and aunt. I love both of them so much.
Myra Abd Kadir~ at 00:42
